


If You Give Hermione A Book

by Frogster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bookworm!Hermione, F/M, Humor, Inspired by If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, children's book redux, late night ramblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 15:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11672112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frogster/pseuds/Frogster
Summary: ...she's going to want to read it. Inspired by the children's book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.





	If You Give Hermione A Book

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElleMalfoy65](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleMalfoy65/gifts), [sirenofodysseus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirenofodysseus/gifts).



> This is just a little silly something that came to me at 11:30 pm on Saturday night. I just rolled with it and typed it all out on Google Docs. Except for a couple of small punctuation/spacing changes, everything is just as it was when I finished it at 12:30 am Sunday morning.
> 
> This is inspired by the children's book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.
> 
> Thanks to the lovely ElleMalfoy65 for looking it over. This one's for her and for sirenofodysseus, who is the queen of humor.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Harry Potter or If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

If you give Hermione a book,

 

She's going to want to read it.

 

And because she's finished all the books in her library

 

She's going to want to go to Hogwarts

 

To see if the library has stocked anything new.

 

When you get there

 

You're met by Draco Malfoy

 

The new potions master.

 

Draco immediately teases her

 

About her insatiable quest for knowledge. 

 

Hermione teases him right back

 

About his insatiable quest for hair products

 

And redemption of his family's name.

 

They continue to bicker

 

As they've always done

 

(And probably always will do)

 

Until you start to think that the books

 

Have been forgotten.

 

But of course with Hermione

 

Books are always a priority. 

 

And Draco, knowing this, tells her

 

That he can take her to a  _ real  _ library. 

 

Of course, she bristles 

 

Because the Hogwarts library to her

 

Is better than the one at Oxford,

 

At least in terms of memories 

 

And its large role in her life.

 

And then he tells her that  _ his _ library 

 

Is even better than this one

 

Because it has a more extensive collection 

 

On the origins of magic

 

And magical history.

 

Not to mention many rare texts

 

And first editions.

 

And she knows

 

(And you know)

 

That he's talking about Malfoy Manor.

 

She's reluctant to go, of course, 

 

Which is understandable,

 

Given her past experiences there.

 

(You know this, because she wakes up 

 

Screaming from nightmares 

 

And has to reassure herself 

 

That she's at home

 

And not at the Manor,

 

A name that makes her weep.

 

Draco’s name, however,

 

Never does.

 

It just infuriates her

 

As she tells you what ridiculous thing he's said now

 

To rile her up.)

 

But somehow, he convinces her to go

 

(You think he hooks her in with a promise 

 

Of a first edition 

 

Of  _ Hogwarts, A History. _ )

 

So off you go

 

To Malfoy Manor.

 

You get to come, too,

 

Although you wonder if it's just because

 

The blond wizard

 

Is trying to ingratiate himself

 

With Hermione.

 

You arrive at the Manor

 

And you can tell from Hermione’s face

 

That it looks drastically different from the last time she was here.

 

Remodeling the Manor

 

Was an absolute necessity, Draco says,

 

Because they needed to cleanse the walls and rooms

 

Of all of that evil.

 

Hermione looks mollified and pleased by this

 

And so Draco leads her

 

(And you)

 

Through the halls of his home

 

Until you reach a set of double doors.

 

He throws them open 

 

With a patented Malfoy flourish

 

To reveal what is admittedly the most glorious library

 

That you or Hermione have ever seen.

 

You're reminded of that movie Hermione likes

 

Where the furry beast gives the girl 

 

A humongous library for her own

 

Because of his newfound feelings for her.

 

Because of course the best way to a bookworm’s heart

 

Is to give her more books than she's ever seen before in her life.

 

And that seems to be what's happening here

 

Because as you're strolling behind them

 

As Hermione oohs and awes

 

And Draco points out special texts 

 

That are sure to capture her interest

 

You turn the corner and find them

 

Locked in an embrace,

 

A first edition of  _ Hogwarts, A History _

 

In Hermione’s hand--   
  


The one that's not ensnared in Draco’s hair, that is.

 

His hands are entangled in her curls

 

As they kiss as if their lives depended on it.

 

And you think that maybe they do,

 

Because you can just see them 

 

Spending a long and happy life together

 

Reading and bickering and loving each other 

 

Until death do them part.

 

And to think that Hermione discovered 

 

The love of her life

 

And mountains of books--

 

Both to keep her happy--

 

All because 

 

If you give Hermione a book

 

...she's going to want to read it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading this! Please leave a review if you're so inclined :)


End file.
